keith hernandez

Why The Tigers Can’t Get Over The Hump

Tigers at Mariners tonight, being broadcast on Fox Sports Detroit (and being viewed by me via  Bottom of the 6th inning…

Announcer 1:  What’s your favorite baseball movie?
Announcer 2:  I’d have to go with “A League of Their Own.”
Announcer 1:  Really?
Announcer 2:  What’s yours?
Announcer 1:  I liked “Mr. Baseball.”

And these guys were both dead serious.  I almost swallowed my tongue.  No one like this should be allowed near a baseball game, let alone my precious Tigers.

Well, maybe I’m making excuses.  After all, the ChiSox managed to win the World Series last year with maybe the most obnoxious announcer I’ve ever heard in Hawk Harrelson.

By the way, if you never saw Mr. Baseball, let me give you a brief synopsis.  Tom Selleck (I know, sounds great already!) plays a washed-up stupid white American a-hole ballplayer (with maybe the worst swing ever seen on film) who goes to Japan to play and acts like a racist a-hole.  Japanese girl falls in love with white American a-hole ballplayer.  White American a-hole ballplayer learns to use chopsticks (this is the director showing how white American a-hole is learning to respect Japanese culture).  White American a-hole ballplayer teaches his team full of short Japs how to be stupid a-holes like him.  A-holes win.

Seriously, I think that even Major League 3 was a better movie than this.  Do you know what else was a better baseball movie than Mr. Baseball?  Star Wars.  Seriously.  At least Luke had a more believable swing.


What is wrong with the announcers tonight?  Just flipping through the Mets – Padres game and I saw something that I’d never seen before:  a woman in a MLB dugout.  Apparently she’s like a trainer for the Padres or something like that.  And right when I see this, Keith Hernandez in the booth says “I’m not saying women belong in the kitchen…but they sure don’t belong in the dugout.”  Are all announcers on stupid pills today or something?  Even if you think it’s a debatable point, why would you say something like that on the air?  And besides, I guarantee that she has a better swing than Tom Selleck.